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We don’t spend enough time asking if it’s the right job for us, just like we don’t ask if it’s the right relationship for us. You technically have a ‘vacancy’ too – surely you don’t want to give it to any ‘ole muppet off this street?

It’s like there’s a job going that’s in your field – you want it. One of the things that job interviews and eventually dating and relationships taught me, is that anything that you get ‘rejected’ by through the process of not being ‘chosen’, there’s normally a very good reason why you wouldn’t have chosen them either.


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You may go for the easy, low-hanging fruit option and choose people that you perceive as being more likely to be with you.

It could be that you recognise certain things that would register as issues to avoid with someone else, but you see it as an opportunity.

Waiting for someone to make you a priority, to proceed to a relationship, to not breakup, to leave a different partner, or whatever it is that you’re waiting to be chosen for, just de-prioritises you.

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Instead they get the job offer and then start evaluating whether it’s actually the right opportunity for them.

If they don’t get the job, some take it as a huge blow of rejection.

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